Back to work

I've cried a ridiculous amount today.  I'm struggling with the fact that I return to work tomorrow and leave Graham at daycare.  My heart is breaking.  I realize that I am not the only mom in this position.  I just can't stand the thought that I won't be the one soothing my son's cries during the day.  I won't be nursing him to sleep.  I won't be catching every smile and coo.  How will I get through my first day at work?  The first week?  How will I continue to find joy at my job when I've found so much happiness at home with my baby??  

I have missed work.  I work with amazing people that I care about a great deal.  I do carry a bit of excitement about returning.  But it's just not what I thought!  Somehow, I thought I'd be eager to return, eager to contribute financially to our family. Instead, I'm literally breaking down.  

I've received some helpful encouragement from friends, family, and fellow working moms, for which I'm extremely grateful.  I know it will get easier, but the newness is scary and the anxiety is building. 

Cuddling my sweet boy as much as I can.